Brothers

So, brace yourself, I've changed.

I've been doing some thinking. About Brotherhood.

An Indonesian pastor named Somat was arrested along with the missionary he worked with for forcing christianity on the people. They were both innocent as they force no one to faith. Their sentence was for two years. The missionary, who was American and whose son goes to school here (hence my knowledge of the situation) was released several months ago. Somat has yet to be released. Since the missionary's release, prayer support and awareness has decreased. Why?

The book of Hebrews says we should remember those in prison (3:13 I think). But what got me really thinking about it was the fact that this Guy is my brother in Christ. I mean, he is out there Serving the Lord, and he was imprisoned for it. What would I do if that happened to my actual brother? Or to someone else I know? If this guy is my brother, I should support him like a brother should. If this guy is my brother, how can I look away? I wouldn't do that to my brother Josh. So I've been praying for him, and a group of us here are sending him some letters to encourage him and just try to build him up as he struggles with hope and staying strong when he is so alone in prison. We also shaved our heads. When they were transferred to a third prison they made shaved thier beards and hair. The missionary's son Matthew Rey who goes to school here, shaved his head with a group of guys he was working with and sent them a picture. When Somat saw the picture he was moved to tears that they did that for them. Its a simple act, but an powerful, encouraging one. So we shaved our heads for Somat. So he would know that he is not forgotten or alone. So he knows that people are still praying for him. So he knows his brothers are standing with him through this.

Keep Somat and his family (wife and two kids) in your prayers they are much needed.

So thats the story here. I think it looks pretty good actually :)

Psalm 94:18

I cry out (to you)
'my foot slips'
grip lost on things held near
my mind on my heart
the lines in my ears
I hear the pain feel the pain
(I think I love the pain)
feel the drain all the same hurt
but different names
calling you called my name
but falling its lost
the cost of living in the world
giving too much to people
too lost to save me
but they gave me
the drugs to numb the pain
pop culture like the rain
falls but is lost
in the game
we play
running away
fill the holes
to save our souls
it falls apart
glass breaking from a shot in the dark
my foot slips
Your Love held me up

Boxes and the Razors edge

I feel like all we have in Christianity today is boxes. John Eldredge says that Christian men have been put in a box. He claims that in todays churches man is being forced into being efeminite weaklings who have lost the warrior nature that is a part of how God created us. Box to Box. Sure that sounds great, the church has boxed in what a Christian man should be; But I find fault in that box and propose that we take a nice big step to what men are actually supposed to be. Hurry, Hurry, step into the 'out of the box' box to avoid being trapped by the other box.....?.....

We seem to be addicted to closing everything in around us, we can't get enough of it. Take spirituality, we have it broken down into six steps. A nice tidy box to set our lives in order. but what if our lives aren't intended for perfect order? What if our lives aren't supposed to be balanced? What if God desires us to Know him, but not to figure him out completely? It seems to me that we kill a relationship if we assume we have the other person totally figured out. Maybe the unknown is there to be unknown. Things we may never know. God has revealed himself to us, this light shines in an otherwise dark room revealing the center of the room where we sit like little children fidgeting nervously and all too acutely aware of the dark in the corners. Unsatisfied with what he has shown us, we want to know what is in those dark corners. But he hasn't revealed that to us. Does that mean that we should than reason out what is most likely to be in those corners in order to satisfy our fears and curiousities? Maybe instead we should try to take the harder road of trusting God in what he has revealed to us. This is the Razor's edge.

It is a narrow road. A hard road to balance in that trust zone. Relying on what hes given us instead of what we think we've figured out. How much of the church's arguments and divisions are over what the bible says, and how many divisions are based on doctrine and theological difference? The difference I mean is that Doctrine and Theology is our systematic categorization of what is revealed and its possible ramifications for how everything works. Essentially shining our reason like flashlights into the corners of the dark room. So we are divided over things such as predestination or legalistic issues of clothing and dance, when the bigger issues, the important ones that lay at the tip of the razor's edge are all but ignored. Left to the pile of issues that are 'a given'. Instead we fight and sacrifice our church to divisions over issues that we invented to fill the gaps that God didn't reveal. When instead we should be clinging for dear life to live out the truth he have been given.

School Days

So here I am, Back at school. Ramen, coffee. Lots of Coffee. How fare I? Well. Not great but well. There are things that keep me sane. Longboarding, friends. The Grace of God. Its hard being back at school. Things have changed, or they seemed to have changed. Sometimes the revolution of change we face is actually only a slight shift in our perception of the world.
Some things are bad at this school now. Profs are tired. some are scared for thier job. There is some kind of huge disconnect in the whole administration here, but its hard to nail what it is. I don't know. Im just a student. What do I know. Maybe too much for what I need to be focusing on.

Something else thats hard to nail down I've been studying a lot of what worship is. I feel like there is some point we are missing. We are all saying the same thing over and over again, but were missing something. I don't know what it is. More on this later.

I've been thinking about moonlight. I was sitting one night out at the point and it cut through the dark lighting the ground with a pale glow. It didn't show everything in perfect detail, but was simply one of those full moons that showed you all you needed to know. Turning around, I saw a chain of lamps each casting a golden yellow glow for a five foot radius. At the edge of each glowing circle there was darkness. A deeper hue of dark, more unclear than that of the shadows cast by moonlit obstructions. Random thoughts cast out into the dorm room of a tired stressed student. More thoughts on this later.

Garden

She has her friends

She has her family

Her rooms A mess

But she doesn't care anymore

There is a garden where she dreams she will lay down and forget the days where she had a fine white Horse and a castle

She has her ways

She has her thoughts

they aren't the best

But she doesn't think about that

There is a place where she knows she can reach and forget about the days where it was all together